Souvenirs [Search results for life] 

a new experience

a new way of thinking

a movement

a new concept

no, actually, none of the above...

this is a personal choice that we are doing as a family

our personal choice to look upon life with simplicity and positivity

no complaining or uttering negativity

what started as something for me, has been taken to by Jason... and now the kids

I didn't force anything upon them... they saw the changes... they noted the difference... however slight it was

when you are raising six children in a traditional atmosphere, while so many others are, well, 'not', one might start to think they 'should' do more

there are so many things I do not share in my online journal... like complaints

everyone's life is deep... mine is ever so deep and sometimes I myself get caught down in that 'abyss'

there are times when I just need to step back and make sure I am keeping my life simple...

and simplicity to me is keeping my eyes wide open and noticing all the political 'goo' and the world's disasters and all of that... I am not blind to the restrictions our government seems to be pushing upon us... I know all about all of that, but keeping positive as much as I possibly can

so did Christ

now, think of that for just a bit... when Christ was alive and his heart was beating upon this Earth within His body... His eyes saw so much that was not good... His hands helped so very many who needed help... his feet walked and led others towards only a positive way of thinking... of being...

connecting the true person of who Christ was into our daily lives can be quite challenging... after all, it was over 2,000 years ago... but Christ was born, was walking around, preached, and lived amongst others

the light He brought forth was exactly that... light

not darkness and oppression

not hatred and judgment

but He brought light upon the darkness... and still does

being positive at all times He was

even when casting out the merchants in God's house; he showed them by force but to a good... not to focus on money

Life and Money gets in the way of positivity I see

you want to live your life free... with unabashed creativity to do what you want... free...

our society has taught that you need to feel joy and happiness when you are successful... have money to do the things you want... and blogging is not helping with this situation...

every blog you go to you sit at your chair behind the computer screen and choose to judge or to accept

Christ accepted everyone for who they were... 'forgive them Father, for they know not what they do'
seperating the sin from the sinner

even the people who just tortured and murdered Him he forgave

so that is exactly what will lead me... or lead you... to positivity

forgiving yourself for any wrong doing you did... if you need to go to confession: go

if you need to tell God sorry; do

don't wait another moment to start this project positive

it is a challenge... and it's up to you to think if it is a hard challenge or a fun challenge... catch yourself even to stop thinking of negativity... no matter what

for some of you who are experiencing some very trying times... dealing with the death of someone you love... dealing with cancer... or some serious life altering situation, I know that being positive is difficult at this time... it takes small steps for some and big steps for others

definitely make some time to thank God for the certain blessings you do have — and make sure to get on your knees in adoration and thanks every evening

you heard me
on your knees

when is the last time your kids 'caught' you in prayer by your bedside on your knees? when is the last time you 'caught' them by their bedside on their knees? kneeling in adoration humbles who you are and exalts Who is worthy of adoration

this challenge takes nothing more but the will to do it...
free will

if you are reading blogs that you get jealous of: stop being negative towards them... this is not healthy... you don't want to be judgmental any longer... you want to be happy for them in their success or failures whether they have 45 followers or 4,500 followers

what is important in life is very misconstrued here on the net... or can be... if you are looking at it with negativity

think positive

think project positive

I know you can do it... if I can do it...

xo + positive blessings,

sinking deeply into the summer's cool foggy evening

noticing that life is very much like a summer's eve... that the stars would not be so brilliant if set against a bright sun... that contrast is needed for our eyes to see the beauty that is oftentimes hidden from our sight

to think of going through life at a steadfast pace with no ups and downs, no hardships or delights would be so dull and uninteresting... to think of the birds all brown with the same song...

diversity is supposed to be seen within nature in order for their uniqueness to distinguish 'it' against 'the others' — such as each of us... such as life...

within the tasks of our daily lives — the laundry and cooking, the weeding the prayers, there is a beauty in the contemplation of those tasks... that we cannot shirk our duties but embrace the work all the while to meditate upon the beauty, stained beets' hands and all

the diamond on my finger is a rock, such as my faith the encircles my life every waking moment in undying devotion to my husband and the bond we share like no other, that lasts through many moons and under many starry skies, sunny days and stormy ones
there was once a time when I had a severe stomach ache and cramping that lasted for many days... many days... and I did think the child within me was coming to the end of his life, for it most certainly felt like the end of mine... and after I recovered, someone near to my heart that can only talk severely candidly with me said "at least you have a stomach"... and as absurd as it may sound, he was right, and he always ceases not to complain, even amongst pain which makes him not be able to walk... never... not a single word of complain... a most courageous man
those pains are long gone and almost forgotten — especially when I am able to hold his chubby 1 year old hands as he falls asleep upon my shoulder...
how often times we cannot see past the pain and sorrow
how many moments in life that are as dull as a gravel drive leading to nowhere
but we must get it through our heads that the pain is passing by us like a fog... that will soon loose it's dampness and disappear... and as long as we equip ourselves with the right spiritual preparation and fuel, that gravel road will eventually lead us somewhere we are supposed to be... and if you feel as though you are running out of fuel, stop... take a deep breathe... and listen to your heart and soul... and if nothing comes back to you, then stay where you are and call for help
for now, I am putting my hands up and allowing Someone else to drive, while I put my head out the window and feel the cool breeze as I gaze up to the never ending sparkling stars in the sky

no... not from that puffed oven pancake, or the homemade sugar cookies and cupcakes we're testing for the sale (had no clue what 'flooding' was until recently — but my oh my is that fun)

an overwhelming sense of being full hit me tonight when at church

my mind literally screamed at me to shut up

all these ideas, pictures, styling, sewing, baking, planning, etc on top of all other 'normal' aspects of my life builds and builds until I felt almost pregnant... and on my last few weeks (no I'm not expecting... as far as I know)

If I'm not creating or doing I'm reading... I just don't sit still

that doesn't mean I'm super organized and can accomplish a whole bunch, but it does mean I've got my interests scattered... for crying out loud I got inspired while shopping the ethnic isle at Woodman's...
that is the super great thing about our human ability to absorb every ounce of our surroundings

every ounce of it

some might not want to, and stick with the routine, take their daily to dos get them done, and package everything neatly

others might not have any schedule and totally flow with life like floating on a raft with a beer in one hand (that doesn't sound so bad really...)

but I find myself in between those two... and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that

What an awesome feeling to know that we are ever expanding in our minds... that the possibilities are endless and absolutely God's doing

I can see a deeper need and desire for each of us to slow down and enjoy the simplicity in life more, especially with all the iphones/ipads/computer games/x-box's/TV/movies...

how?
{{connecting with nature
{{meditating on the glorious nature of our very existence
{{sitting quietly still in the presence of Our Lord for at least an hour a week
{{reading
{{writing
{{hugging your spouse... at least an hour a week

and so many more ideas that would be beautifully captured in your life

capturing that fullness in your life is simply stopping quietly to hear Him

... what is He saying to you

eat a cupcake... that is what He's saying to me right now... how about you?

no, i did not put those flowers in her hair
a spontaneously loving older brother three years her senior, picked them for her and then adorned his little sister in "nature's finest"
though he avoids the camera like the plague, she was quite happy to have me take a few photographs of her smelling the peony blooms which rest in the shade and bloom later in the season due to this

don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen often, with an older brother placing flowers in her hair... but his kindness is evident in this family... a caring nature...

my life is full
full of life and love and kids
there is always some 'mucking' I'm doing, but truthfully, this "mucking" around is always my own fault... my life is most definitely a 'bed of roses'... there's thorns amongst the roses and I seem to get caught in those roses from time to time
perfectly normal
if any of you may be going through a 'rough patch' or are "mucking" through something
perfectly normal
there is nothing on this Earth that has not been suffered or dealt with ask yourself this: are you complaining about it?

stop
let that thorn pierce you through and penetrate a feeling deep within that stings for a bit... you are learning
each day we might just step in the "muck" to smell the roses and get pierced by the thorns as we do

just like her older brother taking the time to pick each flower and place it in her long braid... just because... may we all learn from an 11 year old boy's philosophy in life
shying away from any recognition while creating beauty around us and making someone feel special, not ourself

as we go about our day as a mother, and the possible crying baby for mama as the four year old is reminding his mother every 20 minutes he's hungry, and the 15 year old wants a trip back to the library while shooting off a firecracker, and the 11 year old younger brother decides to make a bazooka for his older brother's firecrackers to launch from pvc piping he found in the barn, and the 13 year old daughter wants to make brownies and plant gladiolas with her mama all the while the mother really just wants to make those curtains out of the fabric that has been hanging on the rod just draped over for nearly 2 weeks now with an actually hot cup of coffee... let us make sure we take time to make their life beautiful
put flowers in their hair
make them some brownies
put that band aid on the skinned knee of your little boy
sew those curtains for your home
embrace the day whichever way it comes... muck, thorns and all

it's perfectly normal
no complaints today... accept it all...
muck & thorns

just be sure you smell those roses along the way

xo + blessings,

If you have been here long enough to read some of my posts, you totally understand that I absolutely love being here on the farm

in the house

in the garden

cooking

walking the prairie

being with all six of the kids

truly. truly. truly. i would not have it any other way — God's will be done! -

my human instinct tells me to kick off my shoes and run through the rain... do a cartwheel at whim... eat pie for breakfast

I do the pie thing, and have done the rain dance, but I seriously think I would break something if I attempted a cartwheel (which I will attempt after I do some more turbojam videos — trust me -)

the joy is there

I can see it like looking through binoculars

almost touch it it's so close

but the joy is a struggle when you are nursing an almost 4 month old who still nurses like a newborn
trying to write articles for different publications only to change it a dozen times
go out to the beet patch to find the rabbit has been rather hungry
and sacrifice the day at home with the baby so the rest of the family can take the boat out

yes

that is it

jealousy

jealous that I couldn't go
jealous that I don't have more time to pick every single cucumber
jealous that other women wear a size 7 and only have two children at home while they sip champagne on the veranda with their friends in the afternoon (I know of someone who does that)
jealous that I am not someone else??

no

jealous that I am not more joyous?

yes

bringing more joy into my life is a daily sacrifice finding it in laundry and this Africa hotness
bringing more joy into my life through more prayer and devotion
bringing more joy into my life with more sacrifice

this is what He wants me to do

funny note... I seriously didn't even want to mention God... and yet, here I do it...

bringing more joy into my life with accepting this vocation, silencing my fears

silencing.
fear.

Fear that I might someday be that women with only two children left at home. Fear that I might pick every cucumber that is in the garden and then have to do something with them. Fear that there will be no more chubby hands handing me a perfect blueberry Fear that I will have to be living life solo
Fear is holding back my silence -

I crave the silence yet want to hear the noise. Of my husband's laughter and the children talk of their adventures with him on the canoe, the boat, by foot or in the air...

So in the end, I am joyous... so joyful to come into the mudroom and see flower colored flip flops and worn-toed cowboy boots
So overjoyed to see that little onesie hanging out to dry in the warm sun

Tearfully joyful to know that my family is enjoying this sunshine at the lake, eating the sandwiches they packed and the granola bars I made
the ache in my chest is not sadness but joy
JOY!

I would guess that 89% of you have never met me in person... you don't know if my life is the way it is... or if I love walking in the prairie for real... or bake my own bread... or sew my own skirts...

yes, I do all of those things

but now, after being a "blogger" for awhile, sometimes it is coming back into my face with not smiles but disbelief

even those women that truly know me have said things like "you can say all you want Anne Marie... life isn't like that"

no apologizes from me... life IS like that... for me... and it most certainly can be for YOU
I'm not about to say 'sorry, but... '

I'm not about to tell you 'oh... I didn't mean to make you feel _________'

never apologize for the way you are living to anyone... if you are going through some hard times, that is for you to get through... for you to become closer to your creator... not away...

step
single
every

every
single
step

up and down we choose... what is more important to you vs. what can take the back seat

this could be all you have ever known: the ups and downs, but it still is your choice... and you may just like climbing up or descending down... and that's okay... no apologizes

no matter what you might be experiencing, there is a way to get pass that wall... you put the wall there... the one you just can't seem to not only see through, but get through, get around

God doesn't make you put that wall up... you built it with all your negativity... excess energy... wasted energy

every day

every
single
day
I go down into my soul to lift it back up again... offering all that I am in communion with Him to enjoy the day, to enjoy my life, to grow in union with my husband and our family

I choose the misery presented to me... I choose the way a song makes me feel... I choose the color of denim skirt I lift up to my hips that bore all six of my children... I choose

like my dad says "it's all in your head"...

it's my life... no apologizes indeed...
= how my boys cooked breakfast for us or how the sunrises out here lately with the cool morning makes the most unbelievable sunrises in the prairie
= how the chickens we have aren't laying eggs and would rather eat the tomatoes instead of the crickets and worms
= how I absolutely love embracing my domesticity — plain and simple — through my faith... through the Church

One thing is constant with me, and that is my constant enhancement for those around me... I like to consider me dying to self in order to give it to others...

Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Not too long ago, the woman who chose to be home with her children could cook, bake, sew, tend the garden, can, teach her children, entertain, and still have time to pray

there is still that same amount of ticks and tocks on the clock

women... men... it is time you made yourself worthy of your time here...

pray/meditate/garden/live/hug someone/smile/give back/work

work your hands to the bone in prayer and that wall will fall and crumple to dust

create yourself worthy

peace + blessings,

dealing with it
it's not something anyone of us like
we are told by our friends and family (if they have any compassion at all) that 'it'll work out' or 'try not to stew over it'
like a hard workout when you wake up the next day and your muscles are sore, but it feels so good... it takes a lot of hard work to see the results
sometimes you even get burned...

but God willing, you have someone who is there watching and protecting... making sure the fire doesn't get out of hand... and will be there to put it out... but the fire sometimes needs to happen

the right time for the prairie burn is when the birds are not here yet (these images were taken over a week ago now)
before they settle down and make their nests in the thick grass and the trees
before the weather is warm enough to stir the bees from their hives

in our own lives... we can't control when the burn happens
it just happens
it's out of our control and so all we can do is let it burn

since our historic barn burned (a number of years ago... you can read more about that here & a short video here) fire to me is not as scary... but has brought more of an understanding that after the fire, even though it's hot and wild and destructive, it also brings new life

we thought that barn would be our organic co-op store... the hay loft was going to be a very cool place to play the drums and strum my guitar and have really amazing gatherings...
but there were different plans out of our control
now I look out to the prairie

though I do miss that barn terribly at times... the disappointment of not fulfilling my dreams inside it... the burn brought new life
an unexpected life to this farm... to me... to my life
I would not have thought I would be where I am today a year ago.
would you?
we can't plan that... but sometimes it's getting burned and then healing from it... noticing the new life instead of dwelling on the ashes

I hope this Lent is bringing you a renewed sense of self.
I hope this time of reflection is making you lift your hearts in admiration of what you do have.
I hope this Lent is truly making you a better person.
xo+blessings,

over the weekend, we opened up our shop farm life and
we have been busy ever since filling orders!!

sometimes life sweeps into your life like a tidel wave — or since it's so cold, like a giant snowball

without warning

I was on the phone with a very supportive friend today, and for the first time, I unloaded on her

she didn't know what hit her I think
like a giant snowball that builds momentum I talked and talked

needless to say, I had phone remorse

do you ever get off the phone with someone and say "oh good gravy that was not what I should have said"

well, that happened to me today
amongst the simmering soup I was preparing and sending out our new e-book, the snowball hit me

making sure the soup was okay, and the baby was happy with his older sister, I came over here to convey to you thought 4...
(all Advent I have been sharing thoughts)
thought 4... charity in a small world I heard this from a young woman at church on Sunday it is the sort of thing that keeps in your mind throughout the day
wanting for this snowball to melt, it took a moment to make me remember that I need not worry about what happens that charity means startring at home — giving time to take notice and comment on your four year old dressed up with his red cape on and holding a wooden sword that his older brother made by hand for his fourth birthday from Papa's wood carving set. Knowing that instead of going hungry we have a 1/4 of a steer coming to the farm and that even though the car broke down on the way to town with everyone in the car, what a blessing to have met that the couple who helped us get back home, since we were "all pioneer" and didn't bring our cell phones, and ironically enuogh, the woman has a brother in the same town that Jason and I used to live in and said brother and Jason knew eachother from being on the fire department in that small town.
small world
that everything you do comes back around to you this is a worldwide belief — whatever you may call it, "doing unto others as they would do unto you" is pretty solid teaching — regardless of faith
keeping it simple, the snowball has melted from the fire of love I have for life, and the wonderful support you all have shown us in our new shop...
Jen's party (go HERE to see some amazing homes decorating!!) is just what I needed to be a part of...
if you scroll down to the previous posts here on my blog, you can see how we are decorating...

simply

it's a minimal approach to the season... care into what is being put out... clean/simple/natural/farmstyle 

boquet was a gift from sponsor — Maple Valley Off-grid Farm
it's not much, but here's a little something for all of you, that should go really well with the recipes in the e-book

I made it myself with a bunch of snowflakes I got from the graphics fairy... thanks graphics fairy!!
(click on image to get a bigger picture + right click + copy + save)

that little four year old is cute as a button right now with his new sword, and was very tempted to want to cut his cake with it!! maybe his Papa will hand carve a serving piece for cake soon eh?

and yes, those are mini marshmallows on top... it's a quick and easy way to decorate a little four year old's birthday cake!!

all the love and support for our new products in the shop has been amazing
thank you so much!! we appreciate that more than you know
our new e-book is only $2.99
click on image to go take a peek at what's it is all about:

there is so much we are adding into the shop everyday — especially these spoons that my husband Jason has been creating from hand 100% hand carved!! I love them!!

there are also some sweet life products in the shop (hand embroidered sweet towels and aprons) sorry but we are not shipping internationally at this time
MERRY CHRISTMAS! peace + blessings,

preserving the last of the herbs... photo taken by daughteri would like to say

i have a lot

there is so much

both spiritually and materially that i am changing... doing... being

my days have been consumed with this life/vocation/existence
but still i change

my mind starts to wander and think... of me...

never... ever... is this a good idea

it's like i put this self made cross (which is quite heavy) upon myself and absolutely refuse to have help in carrying it

that's not a cross from Him, but of my own design...

my father has been in the hospital now for 21 days... his cross is real... and he is letting others help him carry it... he doesn't have the strength to carry it himself...

this all has happened not only for my father, but for all involved in his life...

isn't it always the case... where you are more than willing to help others carry their cross, but when you start to feel the weight, you bear it yourself, because you think you can do it

i don't know about others, but, i can't do it alone

so so much i am working on... trying to listen and be obedient... giving in to the circumstances of life

so much on my mind that i can't even journal it all... my journal has been neglected bedside for weeks

the trivial things of worry and concern are nothing compared to what my mother has been going through seeing her husband... my dad... go through such a trying time...

this all has happened not only for my father, but for all involved in his life...

those socks still need mending, the meals done, the last of the herbs harvested, math lessons completed, prayers of thanks to be earnestly said

the worry and the mind wander and the thoughts can 'hang out' for awhile in my mind, but ultimately it is not necessary or needed...

the best way to put my thoughts coherently is by none other than C.S. Lewis... “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

(I will be discussing this all through this week...)

peace + blessings,

I am so very pleased with this color entering my life...
I do have to say, I think it is from a recent friendship developing... this woman is so very cheerful and vibrant...
when Jason and I first met, he remarked to me one day "I have never met anyone so positive... how are you like that?"
I will never forget how he said that... but I am just not like that anymore yes, some could say it's motherhood... caring for the six children...
but truly, it's me... all me
there are those days (and trust me when i tell you that there are many) when all seems so heavy to carry upon my own cross, that weight pushes me down face first into the earth... but truly, no one does it to me
i do it to myself
no one puts me in those situations
i do it to myself, for myself, by myself
every single day though, there are those sparks of joy... happiness... and sometimes yes, it comes from seeing an image that is amazing — inspiring — beautiful — online, or in a magazine
but most often those times are when I least expect it — like when Daniel put that orange slice in his mouth — that was hilarious — or when my daughter looses her tooth and then talks with a lisp — or in church, when I tell the four year old son to 'sit still' rather sternly and he most piously kneels down with hands folded like an angel and looks up and tells God he loves Him and 'I pray for my Mama'... those moments are both so joyful and reassuring that the cross is my fault
for the most part that is...
I do understand how we are given certain burdens in life we didn't ask for... but we still have to look at the joy in it all 

picture drawn by my seven year old daughter of me and baby Daniel;) 
like that drawing my daughter drew for me... colorful, full of life, full of love... you don't see pictures draw in black and white by children... granted, they don't have the heavy cross like us adults, but they see the joy!

which brings me to my current topic of color

that is exactly why the color is showing up in my kitchen again... not only am I a little tired of all the white decor and tans, etc, in this house, but that joy is all around me thanks to good friends but mostly because I love this man... my very best friend... who honestly saved my soul from the forever abyss of not truly knowing Him

whomever you know that brings joy in their life... let them know... do not delay...

joyful blessings,

i am cleaning out the house, rearranging furniture, helping a friend with her computer 'stuff', hosting a young man's get together and creating a simple pot of chili today

the sun rose beautiful, all your prayers are so welcomed for my dad

he's doing so much better...

thank you so so much

i was listening to someone speak about our connection with each other... how when Christ said 'love they neighbor' what did he mean besides smiling at them, helping them out when they need it, donating to a good cause, helping in a disaster... it went deeper than that

isn't it beautiful how when Christ was preaching he rarely 'said it like it is' but rather made us think... a deeper sense of neighbor for example

this speaker was explaining how our souls are connected to one another because of Him, and because of this, we have the ability to embrace them even after they pass from this world...

so last night, i laid in bed, read some soulful inspirations, closed my eyes and imagined something i have never imagined...

that God is here with me, my Dad, and all that I see... but it's like having it completely dark, and when someone turned on a strong light you'd see God... that the veil was lifted from this life... that heaven is not up in the clouds, but rather, all around us... we just aren't able to see it because our souls are not completely to Him...

well, mine isn't

i unfortunately hold myself back from completeness into 'that realm of heaven'... i love my kids, my husband, my farm, my life, and all these material possessions...

slowly, He is making me realize this and I am able to embrace this life in joys and sorrows while at the same time (trying to be) completely His

when the sun comes up so strong and brilliant and the day is filled with so much, i am completely thankful i can still help others and enjoy this life... and learn more each day or night about who i am... who He made me

peace + soulful blessings,

I walked down to the barn this morning — coffee in hand — like I have for the past two months...

the same calmness was there... it's as though it was a dream... as though Friday and Saturday's sale was being lived out in my mind not in my reality

I tried not to have expectations — keeping myself blended into the event like an extension of the prairie — I walked about both days... meeting new people... seeing old friends... embracing family members and my sweet little baby...

looking in the barn just now — the branches are still up — the hay couches are gathered in the prairie lounge, the winter prairie room still sparkles with the crystal chandelier and bare white branches...

I am not here to say that "i'm glad it's all over"... or "i can finally get back to my life"...

like the dreamcatcher, I wove my life like a web, catching and blanketing everything that touched this weekend... giving me sustenance within, then letting go of the unwanted elements that were tangled up

dreams are not all good... in fact, most of my dreams are so strange i try not to even bother figuring them out

there were most certainly things that happened this weekend that weren't all 'heart warming', but each and every moment this weekend (and in my life lately) was accepted

trying to accept each moment in my life has opened my heart to beat even stronger within the connection with other people... and doing what i love... being on our little farm, baking, cooking, decorating, supporting others... all of this creates a very deep awareness of the complete cycle and connection between the earth and God

i like to think of me being caught in His web... His dreamcatcher... for He will take from me to give to Him...

picture taken Saturday morning, the second day of the sale/event

when your eyes are open to a new idea... a new way of looking at things that are out of your control, you start to see the world differently... in a new way

in a wondrous way

there is mystery and intrigue into this new world

when you get yourself caught in the 'rut' of life and nothing is new and you are doing the same thing day in and day out... that is exactly the time when instead of closing yourself off, you should listen to another

listen with your whole self

your whole being

completely with your whole soul

we are intricately connected with this blessed Earth... it can show us so much... we can feel so much from it...

quite honestly, it's an organic way of thinking... natural life... natural world... supernatural soul

connecting the two — the supernatural with the natural is hard to do when stuck in the 'rut'

we cannot figure things out on our own... it takes a lot of listening...

'project positive' urged me out of a rut... but when you take the same road, it's easy to fall back into that rut... the same potholes caught up in me everytime...

that's when I knew I had to let Him take over
watching the world pass me by was calming at first... a relief of sorts... but then after He listened to me whine and complain talk of my concerns in life, I started just listening and gaining more trust in Him... I liked the world He was showing me... I like what I saw...

I liked it so much I started thinking maybe it was time to take the wheel again... so I asked Him... and He said He was going to always be there with me, but for now, He's letting someone I love dearly show me too... but He's confident that this person will sometimes give me the wheel and I'll teach him...

love is a lot of listening

whomever you love in your life, listen more than give your opinion... you might be missing out on helping them

it's quite possible that they are the ones who are trying to show you more joy and happiness...

love is a lot of listening and trust, but hope for a better you

love and peaceful blessings,

recently moved up from North Carolina, his hands have been busy all his life outdoors...

he lived in a one bedroom cabin in the mountains of Colorado for almost 10 years

he was a river rafter guide down the Colorado river

he was a chef

he hiked the Colorado trail... the whole thing

he is close to the Earth

he is close to God

I know!! doesn't he sound like the coolest guy?? we think so... we love him...

I only had sisters growing up, so having a brother is awesome... he is my brother by marriage... such an amazing person... he teaches me a lot about life (I've told him many times I can't wait to read the book he will write about his life... hee)

brothers
he's done so much in his life... & that character comes out in his hand carved spoons he's been doing with Jason

they sit out there in the barn and carve, talk, and mold a log into a utilitarian beautiful creation

he made this baby spoon...

I cannot tell you how excited I was to see he had done that!! If you have a baby that is starting to eat solids, or a toddler using a utensil for the first time, you understand how it just doesn't seem right to use plastic!!
I have been using silver spoons — which I like — but they are hard... metal... so this soft yet hard wooden spoon is perfect... in every way
If you are coming to the barn sale, not only is he going to be grilling some local meats for your supper or lunch, he'll be selling a few of his spoons too
he also hand carved this amazing spoon... "the serving scoop" scoop anything you like... ice cream... risotto... fresh cobbler...

it's so interesting to see the different shapes and finishes the spoons get turned into... it really does mimic their personalities... just like any artistic endeavor

whenever you create something by hand, the character comes out

hope you are all enjoying this beautiful spring day... I have more planting to do, and I can't wait to share with you all the improvements to my kitchen garden...

xo+blessings,

getting through... changing our minds as quickly as the squash blossoms fall... wanting to do more... see more... hear more... feel more

all of us can raise our hands to the thoughts of wanting more — whether spiritual or material
it is our 'human nature' to want to do more

this has gotten twisted to where wanting more is for ourselves

but think about it... how so very unique you are... we are... that we were granted this right to our life... by whom? certainly not ourselves willed it into existence... it was given to us

each of us carry a special place within this life... because of this uniqueness we have... and certain people come into your life, my life, our lives for a reason... and it isn't to become more cynical, more vindictive person, to be more agitated, more stressed, more upset, more judgemental... even though most often times people react this way when confronted with someone "new"...

these wonderful encounters of unique individual souls, regardless of what their bodies are like, create thoughts and feelings within us... giving us inspiration, ideas, new thoughts...

and though we may change our minds often, it is all because we are trying to find more ways to glorify, to lift our spirits, to enhance those bits and pieces that have been given to us since we have been nursed in our mother's arms... always wanting to do more because when we are children we are so willing to do so... to please

dividing our experiences as children to our adult lives can be suppressed just so long... all of us are different from when we were children... and letting go of the mistakes we've made has to be done — sometimes daily, sometimes just once... but those mistakes that we've made, and mistakes are made every day... can help you grow... help you see... help you hear... help you feel

the thing about feelings is that they come and go... so though you may make a mistake, asking for forgiveness will humble yourself like a child, and give you that feeling... but always keep in mind that everyone — every single one of us — has made mistakes, hurt others, whether they want to humble themselves in order to have compassion on you is their choice... but I understand, and I think you do too...

xo+blessings,

A rest already. Step 1 took a lot out of me, and I now must rest. I warned myself in advance that I would be resting along the way. There is only a tad over 7 days left until Easter... the end of Lent...

To partly battle with this rest, I have started walking and running. Doing my workouts in the basement has stopped because of the warmer weather...
so has laundry... it's now outside as well...

If you don't exercise: start... trust me on this... Getting outdoors to exercise not only refreshes your body but also your mind. Walk down the block — start there — and if you can't do this alone because you have little ones; so be it; just get out there and start. Think of it as a spiritual helper, not a weight loss! I am not about weight loss... I am about being healthy within... that is more important than your appearance... no matter what you see on the television or magazines... (I better stop now, or I'd do a whole post on exercising)

resting is essential to a healthy soul
A tired soul makes a tired body... it usually is not the other way around.
True rest comes not from ceasing to work, but from the freedom from anxieties. Just as in music, the rhythm of life must have silence as well as sound.
Just as in step 1, knowing when to go quiet is linked with this rest... all steps to a 'better me'

True rest... the world cannot give it or take it away. It is an inward state of being, within your heart.

Find a place you can dwell alone.
In Rest.
In Quiet.
Start with 5 minutes today... tomorrow... the next day... and on Monday increase your time to 10 minutes... next Wednesay make it 15 minutes. Taking just 15 minutes out of your day to reconnect with yourself. (kind of sounds like a soul workout doesn't it... it is)
You have to balance your spiritual life with your material life... this bodily life we live taking care of the children, working at our jobs... don't let one over power the other.
Keep your exercise time separated from your Rest... If possible, start your day with those 5 minutes of Rest.
Rest + Exercise = Quietness of mind, soul, and body

xo+ rested blessings,

When I was proposed to by Jason (that's a whole other story) and we went looking for rings, I didn't want any diamond... I just wanted that union... that bond... and a simple turquoise vintage ring was what I thought I would get

His mother owns an antiques store in Geneva, IL (it is rated the #1 antiques store in the Fox Valley area) — it really is quite a nice store! (I even do the window displays) — and Karen — Jason's mom — has a beautiful selection of turquoise... nothing was quite what I was thinking... and while shopping with her and Jason, she said "Oh Anne Marie... just look at a diamond... just for fun... "

so I did

through a special eyeglass (forgot the name)...

I was blown away at this rock... so amazingly beautiful... from the 1920's and in perfect condition... set in white gold — almost like silver...

She went on to explain to me how diamonds of this beauty are so rare and... well... she said a lot and I'm sorry to say that I don't remember everything she said... my heart was swelling inside thinking of why this ring was in the store... why someone brought it in and sold it... or was it found... was it someones grandmother's and they needed the money... a family heirloom... was it a ring that was given back to a man who loved that woman and was rejected by her love and she thrust the ring back at him never to speak to him again...
the inscription says 1920 and has the couple's initials...

of course, I envisioned her with her cloche hate and smart skirt suit on and him dapper with a fedora and trench coat and pinstripe suit... they were out to dinner and he proposed — she threw her arms around him and... well, you get the idea... this ring was more to me than a diamond — it is like making a new life to this rock... giving it that sparkle that was lost sitting there in the store...

we are so much like a diamond... we start out in life so raw and rugged... and with the constant pressures to do good to ourselves and others we are crushed on all sides... sometimes so stressed we just want to hide away with a lemon meringue pie and a pot of coffee (hypothetically speaking of course;)

let those pressures crush us — it will make us spectacular in the eyes of others and God...

to me, there is nothing in this life more important than being beautiful in the eyes of God

but immediately, we show our beauty to others by our acts towards them...

when things don't go smoothly, on whatever project you are working on, know that is just part of this life process of crushing you further and further until that pressure makes you beautiful in the eyes of God, to others, and yourself...

it's all part of this process... just have patience... we all go through pressure...

many of you have emailed me about diamonds since I posted this... and I wanted to share with you more on how a diamond is made... you can go here.

peaceful Lenten blessings,

btw: you can find an amazingly clear diamond for a fraction of the cost in antique stores!!

wherever you are on this journey of life, whether a believer in Christ or not, taking time to better oneself is always necessary...

walking through these next forty days (more on that in a minute) as being a caretaker of the earth, the land beneath us, we will be able to rest within and let the power of God work within us

There is no more time to decide on what to give up, now is the time... (back to the walking...)

our human nature always let's us know there is more time, but when you have to plant a garden, you have to do it at just the right time, just after the frost or a bit before, depending on what you are growing, but you certainly can't plant pepper seeds in the cold hard ground in zone 4 in April, the ground is too cold and they will not even germinate. If you have forgotten to plant that pepper plant by seed, at the right time, then there is always the local nursery, where you can pick up usually a plant with a pepper already growing on it. There are plenty of times where this has happened to me, for whatever reason, but I ran instead of walked in the garden. To run into lent is like picking up that pepper plant in the store with it's fruit ready to pick. It is a lazy way to garden (unless physical ailments prevent you from starting it from seed). The cost if more, the work was not done by you, but here you are enjoying the fruit. Quite frankly, it is cheating your way through gardening. At the end of the forty days, each and every one of us, should arrive with a stronger sense of our weaknesses and strengths because we spent so much time in prayer and fasting.

That ground we are planting in, if all we plant are peppers in there, year after year, will become unsuitable for planting. It needs crop rotation. It might even need time to lie fallow (left alone).

Rotating crops helps not only prevent insect infestations, but also enriches the soil. So one year we'll plant peppers, the other year maybe some carrots or potatoes (something growing deep within the ground). Just as we are as humans. Sometimes we are left barren and it needs to be that way. Other time though, we need to remove what is there for a time to focus on introducing a new virtue or habit within us. Fasting helps us with this.

We are such pleasure seeking people with our comfort of food and drink (myself included). After all, we need food and drink to sustain us, but why not live without that comfort.

That seed we put into the ground is restraining the life within it. It is dry and brittle, and so small. When that outer skin on the seed falls off and dies within the ground, then life pushes forth.

After this time of soil preparation, and barren land, let us all let life push us forth.

in this life... there is no room for minimalism
what we thought we could do... we can do even more
giving yourself completely in this existence creates this awareness in the world's reality
how often do you really take the time to listen to your spouse/lover/friend (or all three;)
do you think just because you are "together" you can just give what you have given and keep on that way
the truth about love is that is takes a balance between the extremism of being a doormat to your mate and beckonining to their every will, and the other side of that extreme of complete narcissism
there are no two ways about it... a fine balance
sometimes it might take the other person to dive head first into the problem or situation and come up and explain how much he/she has learned from that mistake
other times it could be that you both get blind sided and have to deal with a situation together
are only giving minimal love to someone?
it's a rude awakening to realize that you are... or might be...
ask yourself this: "what is the most I can do"

love does not destroy freedom... it makes you realize how fragile you are... how to look with childlike fascination upon the newness of life bonded with another human being... where is the minimalism in that?

within this life there is no room for minimalism
within this life is the fullness of faith of devotion of love

peace and blessings,

how do we find inner expression?

not smiles or frowns, but how do you show others what's inside of you?

sometimes it's food... or writing... or photographs... or blogs

I used to express myself through dance

I used to love to dance -

I took ballet, tap, jazz, and modern

my favorite being modern

modern dance can be risky to watch sometimes — as all theatre or performance art is — (not all suitable for young ones)
performance art is just that... performing an expression of the meaning behind the dance

if you have ever been in a play, or sang in public, or danced for others, then you know that sometimes when life is throwing you a curve ball (feeling ill... experiencing heartache... wallet bone dry) it may be hard to express that joyful dance or song when you don't feel so joyful

and that is where true talent lies... being able to express the feeling behind the piece... regardless of what you are doing in your personal life... however... your personal life is exactly what is driving that performance out of you... it's up to you to express yourself the best way you know how

but giving up is the easy way... so when you are feeling lousy... think of a better time in order for you to enjoy that moment, or day, or week, or month or year

the same for life... when it gets messy, don't forget your blessing

this movie is due out in the UK, but I'm sure it will be playing in the states too... someday

here's a contrast in expression, but how I love it so...

Both artists have recently passed this world into the next, and it just got me thinking (and reafirming) how I need to keep being authentic and let whatever is me shine too... to try to express myself the best way I know how

how do you express yourself?