preserving the last of the herbs... photo taken by daughteri would like to say
i have a lot
there is so much
both spiritually and materially that i am changing... doing... being
my days have been consumed with this life/vocation/existence
but still i change
my mind starts to wander and think... of me...
never... ever... is this a good idea
it's like i put this self made cross (which is quite heavy) upon myself and absolutely refuse to have help in carrying it
that's not a cross from Him, but of my own design...
my father has been in the hospital now for 21 days... his cross is real... and he is letting others help him carry it... he doesn't have the strength to carry it himself...
this all has happened not only for my father, but for all involved in his life...
isn't it always the case... where you are more than willing to help others carry their cross, but when you start to feel the weight, you bear it yourself, because you think you can do it
i don't know about others, but, i can't do it alone
so so much i am working on... trying to listen and be obedient... giving in to the circumstances of life
so much on my mind that i can't even journal it all... my journal has been neglected bedside for weeks
the trivial things of worry and concern are nothing compared to what my mother has been going through seeing her husband... my dad... go through such a trying time...
this all has happened not only for my father, but for all involved in his life...
those socks still need mending, the meals done, the last of the herbs harvested, math lessons completed, prayers of thanks to be earnestly said
the worry and the mind wander and the thoughts can 'hang out' for awhile in my mind, but ultimately it is not necessary or needed...
the best way to put my thoughts coherently is by none other than C.S. Lewis... “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
(I will be discussing this all through this week...)
peace + blessings,