Souvenirs:
3 steps to a better me

work

at the top of these steps I have climbed I will now plateau for a while... and work

work at all the things I have learned in these three steps

work at always giving more of myself... and then... work some more work at giving silence
work at giving me rest
work at doing more... working more

always wanting to please Him and those around me, it is me who suffers in this process sometimes because I am the one who is anxious and worried about things — not them — it is me who puts these obstacles before me to perform this work complete and well done it is me who has the problem — not those around me -

this takes work too
so many of us (women in particular) are needy we need praise... encouragement... attention... commitment...

some of us women want others to be more like them some of us women don't work at meeting half way in a friendship or even sisterhood some of us women don't work at bettering themselves by giving of themselves towards others some of us women work to please ourselves and forget about others' needs and wants
working things out between two people takes work on both ends

don't expect one person to do all the work... they will eventually get so tired they quit

• work at giving silence when silence is due
• being a listening ear and shoulder to lean on
• work at giving yourself rest
• in alone and peaceful prayer time to meditate and become closer to the Creator
• work at doing more
• for others by giving of yourself through working for others and not yourself

helping others by showing others how hard you are at working at this

notice the good in others only in these last few days in Lent
fast and pray to become the best person you can be

xo+ heartfelt blessings,

and yes, our little Daniel is now 1

I will most likely stop at each step and sit... relax... take it all in... cry a little... hug a lot...
why 3 steps? why not 7?

I like three

I like 'sanctus sanctus sanctus'

I like three in One

and who's kidding... it's not hard to get up 3 steps right?????

Sometimes these steps will be slippery... and I will fall... and hopefully, if not damaged too much, will find the strength to get right back up...

I don't like it when I fall

Especially when others are around... there is this thing I do after I speak to others...
i like to call it 'conversation remorse'

if you know me personally, you know about this already... it's not like I'm spewing out profanity like a sailor... but I have this tendency to go deep
sometimes the other person I'm preaching talking to about those darn green aphids invading my squash plants, or the psychology behind the bees, or how much more than 'chance' brought Keiren and Nick into our lives, or (okay, you get it) and the poor thing just stands there not knowing what to say... or worse; the nodding of the head starts occurring "right... right"...

sometimes even the rolling of the eyes "sure: whatever" without a word spoken, but it is all there in the eyes
so this 'conversation remorse' happens a lot... I speak passionately... and then afterwards, usually as I am about to close my eyes in slumber, it happens... the rehashing of the preaching conversation... and I think "oh my Lord, what did I do!"

claiming self respect not only will make me fall asleep better, but will also continue on my goal each day as bettering who I am as a wife, mother, friend, sister, etc, etc...
how is this done? how am I going to be able to do this?

by shutting up

yes, sometimes just keeping my mouth shut would be good... but oh man do I love to talk sometimes... (I bet you couldn't guess that could you)
otherwise, only if I am very versed at what I am about to talk about, I will try not to speak
there are times ( you can ask my brother in law) when I say things that were supposed to be funny, and turn out not so funny due to the other person's humor level... I tend to stay on the serious laughter... (I would love to be a belly laughter, but it just isn't me)...
claiming my self respect means I am making a condition of my contentment... to recognize my limits... whatever is within limits is more than likely going to be quiet
as the week continues, I will be meditating on contentment, humility, egotism and then joy...

Starting Monday...
I will be posting another Lenten series entitled "3 steps... to a better me"

These posts entitled "3 steps... to a better me" are written with a particular purpose, a special meaning, and a deliberate spirit to help enhance who I am.

These posts will not, by any means, create a "someone" I want to be. Why? Because I don't want to be first lady, or some famous writer, or a tv show host. Who I want to become is a better version of who I already am. There are so many faults I have. So many failings. So very many...
so who do I want to be? just plain ol' me
embracing who I am and using the gifts God gave me

I have made extremely bad choices... and that is exactly what they were... choices... and what they still are
There is this thing that I absolutely love about life: freedom.

This freedom is within each and every one of us. This is how even Christ Himself was able to be enslaved in this flesh and blood while living here upon this Earth. He knew He had to suffer as He did... and this time during Lent I am always reminded of this... and I fight it...

I fight this flesh and blood... sometimes I don't want it... I want to soar bodiless with Him in heaven... in only spirit

and then I realize I can do that now... that all I have to do is let myself go of this world and soar

Feeling a bit ill this week, and only wanting solitude because of it, I was very much grounded right where I am... all I want to do is sew that ottoman I made, but there was this totally cute, severely needed to nurse all day for some reason baby in my arms... I just wanted to be in that studio and sew and listen to the birds, and make my tea, and just well: be me. Truthfully, it was a 'fake me' that I wanted. Seriously... can you hear the whining?

The purpose of these posts is to bring solace, healing and hope to hearts... enlightenment to minds... strength to wills.

Yes, it will be focused on me, not individuals who read these posts... I cannot address anyone else... that's the person I know the most;)

So what will be in these posts?? This '3 steps... to a better me'? ??

• First we will discover how to reclaim that self respect.
• Second, we will learn how to accept what is given to us... and call it a blessing.
• Thirdly, we will understand what our calling is and learn how to fulfill that purpose.

I have a lot at stake making this place we call "Farm" a place to treasure
like a tabernacle I want to empty myself and fill only Him with His love and accept
accept me
accept all the blessings both in sacrifice and joy
but first... the sacrifice
like the quickly passing days upon this Earth, I only have a short amount of time to live life to the fullest I could easily fill myself with "me" but that would be selfish
so I'm going to fill myself with Him, through sacrificing myself completely see you Monday...
(well, maybe Sunday too... with a b/w photo:) xo+spiritual blessings,