I will most likely stop at each step and sit... relax... take it all in... cry a little... hug a lot...
why 3 steps? why not 7?
I like three
I like 'sanctus sanctus sanctus'
I like three in One
and who's kidding... it's not hard to get up 3 steps right?????
Sometimes these steps will be slippery... and I will fall... and hopefully, if not damaged too much, will find the strength to get right back up...
I don't like it when I fall
Especially when others are around... there is this thing I do after I speak to others...
i like to call it 'conversation remorse'
if you know me personally, you know about this already... it's not like I'm spewing out profanity like a sailor... but I have this tendency to go deep
sometimes the other person I'm preaching talking to about those darn green aphids invading my squash plants, or the psychology behind the bees, or how much more than 'chance' brought Keiren and Nick into our lives, or (okay, you get it) and the poor thing just stands there not knowing what to say... or worse; the nodding of the head starts occurring "right... right"...
sometimes even the rolling of the eyes "sure: whatever" without a word spoken, but it is all there in the eyes
so this 'conversation remorse' happens a lot... I speak passionately... and then afterwards, usually as I am about to close my eyes in slumber, it happens... the rehashing of the preaching conversation... and I think "oh my Lord, what did I do!"
claiming self respect not only will make me fall asleep better, but will also continue on my goal each day as bettering who I am as a wife, mother, friend, sister, etc, etc...
how is this done? how am I going to be able to do this?
by shutting up
yes, sometimes just keeping my mouth shut would be good... but oh man do I love to talk sometimes... (I bet you couldn't guess that could you)
otherwise, only if I am very versed at what I am about to talk about, I will try not to speak
there are times ( you can ask my brother in law) when I say things that were supposed to be funny, and turn out not so funny due to the other person's humor level... I tend to stay on the serious laughter... (I would love to be a belly laughter, but it just isn't me)...
claiming my self respect means I am making a condition of my contentment... to recognize my limits... whatever is within limits is more than likely going to be quiet
as the week continues, I will be meditating on contentment, humility, egotism and then joy...