LUST
One could say I lust after having a nicely decorated home
One could say that I lust for good food
One could say that I lust at having every inch of my grass flowers and meadows, with a pond in the prairie and a pergola, and a little dock just perfect for a bit of fishing (because the pond is stocked)
and they would be right
this is something that holds me back sometimes to actually being "happy"
Happy to me is not an emotion but a state of mind
and when I think of all the possibilities here on our little farm... well... there's only one thing I can say it is:
LUST
How to overcome this vice? this weight upon my shoulders?? (I put it there... no one forced it upon me)
Enjoying what I DO have... which is so much...
and I don't mean I don't appreciate all of it, or thank God for it, but sometimes, these thoughts and dreams in my head of what "could be" cloud the reality I am in
so here's how I am going to battle this
by shutting my eyes
Now I have my eyes shut and I can see with my heart
